Body Language©

Since I started coaching, almost every client and I have ended up talking about body language. Where and how people stand, sit, lean, use their fingers, hold their gaze and clear their throat do mean something but it may be only partially a good indication of what they hope to communicate. People should control all the messages they are sending, written, spoken and through their body. All should be congruently saying the same thing. Let me share a client’s story to bring home this point. A few years ago a new client came to me who was unable to close an offer for a job. He was very qualified, successful, as well as well-groomed. He explained though he would be selected for interviewing quickly, interviewed through the ranks successfully and be told he just has to be passed by the big boss; he never got the offer. The big boss could be a president or a SVP or a country manager....
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Authentic People at Work ©

There’s an enormous amount of research suggesting that emotional intelligence (EQ) is critical to your performance at work. The EQ of more than a million people has been tested now and by in large these find that EQ explains 58% of success in all types of jobs. People with high EQs make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQs. Ninety percent of top performers have high EQs, and a single-point increase in your EQ adds $1,300 to your salary. Suffice it to say, emotional intelligence is a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with tremendous results. But there’s a catch. Emotional intelligence won’t do a thing for you if you aren’t genuine. A recent study at the University of Washington found that people don’t accept demonstrations of emotional intelligence at face value. They’re too skeptical for that. They don’t just want to see signs of emotional intelligence. They want to know that it’s authentic — that your emotions are...
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Has a Teammate Thrown You Under the Bus? ©

Okay, A coaching client of mine started a recent December session with "A so called teammate has thrown me under the bus! GRRRR!! Let's talk about an attack plan." What was my advice? Don't attack,strategize. After you take a walk to clear your thoughts, schedule some time for the two of you to chat. If you really want to move on from being thrown under the bus, there are two painful truths you’ll face. For starters, you’re bound to have a really uncomfortable conversation with your co-worker. And more importantly, you need to remember that even the nicest tone could make that person feel like you’re attacking them. Unless that person knows to expect a tough conversation in advance reach out to them and ask if they have a few minutes to chat later that day about the earlier meeting (or wherever it was that the issue took place—be it in person or over email). The next week, she was still fuming...
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